PNS336 Soleil Moon Fry’s enormous tits tweet

PNS 336 show notes by this disgusting pile of crap -- Thppppppp. Oh, excuse me. Just practicing getting my fart on for later. If you think I’m hefty, wait til you listen to this show. It’s like me with extra bacon fat and more cheese shoved in. PNSexcessplosion. Ready to chow down? Martha Stewart and those whiny girls are live in the studio. Was there ever really a pet pig, mama? David J’s back to promote his XXX vid, “All Hands On Dick.” Ahoy! Did you hear the ShamWow guy got booked for fighting with a hooker? Well, wow-wee! Crystal meth - oh, yeth. Catch Pat stripping at the Lucky Whore’s Shoe on the corner of Clark and Regret. PNS is huge in Japan, where it’s called “Crazy Sexy Fun Fun Fun Gay Time Exprosion.” The Barack Obama Chia Pet is available in “Happy” or “Dignified.” What, no “I’m Pissed Because I Inherited Two Wars And An Economy In The Turlet”? Brrrrrrrrp. The Conversation Hat™ overflows with tales of early sexual experiments. Noah touched some peen and now the guy is dead. Woopsy. David J did it with a house full of brothers across the street, like the gay version of “The Virgin Suicides” without the virgins and the suicides. Noah hammered a hot dog, a kind of deviant practice I’m not familiar with. Some hot/creepy talk of teachers showering with students, David J’s bf’s big balls and the lovely Miss Pat Coté. Did you have hot teachers? Hit the comments, kids. Wrestling is hard and smells like tananana. So do I. Hey, if the head of Facebook is listening, here’s One Random Thing About Myself: I want you to choke on your lousy memes. Soleil Moon Fry’s enormous tits tweet. In Axe The Gaywads, have you ever been in a sling? We’re halfway through, so if you need to go throw up so you can shovel the rest of this in, now’s the time. The dudes at IML are totally up for anything until they have to go back to their cubicles. Pat hangs out with the stars. Next question: what’s your favorite iPhone app? Seriously? Must have been a wrong number. Speaking of gross piles of junk oozing cheese and garnished with half a pound of onions, Sally Kirkland calls in about losing at the Ocscars. She knows all about that. Frrrrrrrrrp. You’ll want to do a courtesy flush after that horror, mister. Charades in the studio mean now is the time to check your voicemail. Which child star would you like to — oh, jeesuz, what are Soleil Moon Fry’s enormous tits tweeting now? What did you used to watch after dinner? If you ate me, it would be the big white telephone connected directly to god. Rainbow yawnsies. Is Chazzy up for adoption? Who could afford the food bills? If you’re disorganized, you need new Ped-O-Files®. I would totally go see “Charlotte Ray: The Opera.” So much browning. Girls! This shit sammie closes out with a delicious, full-fat shrillcast that will take leave your feet feeling numb. Are you full yet? Do you want seconds? One more tiny spoonful? If you made it this far, you’ll need a pick-me-up shock from the complimentary biphasic defibrillators just before you shart yourself stupid. Your waitress will lube up the paddles. Clear!
PNS336

PNS327 Mariska Magdolna Hargitay *plate smash*

Show notes by her Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II -- Good evening and welcome to the New. Stu. Joe. You can take a look around if you go to Facebook and search for “PNSexplosion Podcast”. Become a fan while you’re there. Or not. What do I care? I have millions of fans, except I call them “subjects”. Noah has moved into his new palace, so shrillcasting is on hold until he figures out if his new neighbors can stand living next to Celine Dion, the cast of “Dreamgirls” and Jenna Bush. Mama! What never, ever gets old: videos of fat fucks being dragged along by speedboats being strangled by twisted-up parasails. I think I just pooped myself a little bit. Rob’s away rehearsing his new show, a musical about an aphasic stroke victim. Strike up the band! Things get huffy with some Dust-Off because nothing says “good times” like that cheap difluoroethane buzz. Patrick fesses up that he huffed a 3M product back in high school, but you just know it was probably Post-it® Flags. Caulk talk: Patrick’s is browning and turning inward. Isn’t DVR delicious? America’s Podcast Curmudgeon, Chris Gieger, joins the discussion via satellite and reveals he is currently DVRing everything on the air. What do you DVR? Coming very soon: The Ultimate PNSexplosion Collection – The First 300 Episodes will be available on RapidCher. Chazzy was named after Mommy’s first movie, “Chastity”, which came out just after Chazzy was born. Chazzy should be thankful Mommy made that movie - otherwise her name would have been “Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean.” Irrelevant Pop Culture Moments™ starring Eva Longoria Parker, Mariska Magdolna Hargitay and the KKK: Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian, chucking wads of cash at their party guests. Those hefty Armenian gals are just so damn classy. Come on, kids – spread the word about the ‘splosion: review this shit sammy on iTunes and Twitter the twat out of it. Call the Gayz on 206-888-GAYZ. Liz out.

PNS327

PNS297 Cell Phone Holster and a Monocle.

PNS297

PNS209 Aaron Neville, get out of my butt with your beer can cock.

PNS209

PNS175 Cher's Kitty Litter View

We tear it up y'all!. And we also recorded a show.

Call and leave a message for the Gaywadz or Lezbos. 206 888 GAYZ.

More Rob Lindley creamy goodness at The Daily Purge and How Much Do We Love.

PNS175: Stink Box Fever

Got Blacklung? - PNS160 - 03.20.07

Funny show today! Sussie Sisson is back in the hizzy and did her best to not talk about fingerbanging. Voice letter-box time. We make haikus, and make fun that all of you are methadone addled burn victims. Call 206 888 GAYZ. Right now. Then leave a comment for this show and boomtacular. It makes us feel oh so happy.
Woo! Gieger time! Gieger gives us ANTM update. Gieger needs to move here because I love him so.
Jeopardy time! Straight girls end up coming in and are gassy, but in a strange and unexpected turn don't fingerblast. Well played ladies. Got blacklung? Try new Lungbrush, from 'Scuse ME!®, the sister company of Right Lady's?®, the makers of Raspberry Rain Douche for Your Butt, Your Manbutt. We do something completely original and refreshing and sing Hot Mashed Potatos Tonight a-freakin-gain. Just a note to listeners: if you don't like a skit, like say The Jesuit Priests, its best to not tell me and Pat. We'll just do it more. Pat tells us about when he was 13 years old and wore a flimsy white linen skirt and got raped during his family reunion. International call from Saudi Arabia! Neat. We don't quite understand the question so we do a fatwah. Kelly Rippa, Regis, Dekota Fanning, Elizabeth Hasselbeck (note to Jehad Jerry: please make it violent), Ann Coulter (obvious, but whateves), Gale King, Oprah, and the makers of The Secret. Sandra Lee gets a fatwah warning and Pat wants to shank her right in the puss which is pretty reasonable once you think about it. We forget about trying to answer the previous question from Saudi Arabia. I tell everyone my deep dark secret about sticking a Stain Stick up my butt. Don't tell anyone, because I'd be totally mortified. I also used to bite and fuck pillows. But, shhh, don't tell anyone my shame.
Because I know so much about women's bodies, I describe female masturbation. Sussie debunks our wine soaked tampon in butt theory. Does anyone know about this, or have tried it? Uh oh, Pat's mic is cutting out. Sussie tells us her story about applicating her first tampon, which is funny and heartwarming. Love Sussie to bits. How much do we love Ikea Meatballs? Pat would totally get it on with the cadavers at Body World (yes, he is that emotionally unavailable). I kid, I kid.
Losin' Steam (Tonight!) song. We really only planned on a 20 minute show, but end up closing out after 50 minutes with an Eyetalian disco song from Fourfour.

P.S.-- If you'd like to contribute to Noah and Devin's dream vacashe (nutshell: we be broke asses 'cause they are self employed and just moved) here is a link. We are so grateful for all the donations so far, and this will be our last shameless plea, we pinky swear. Go over to boomtacular for periodic posts from France! If you didn't donate, all of us thank you for just listening/reading. xoxox

PNSexplosion - Episode 160

Skull fuck my nose. - PNS157 - 03.12.07

We do some voicemails (call 206 888 GAYZ you queerbait). Happy Monday. Scott was up late then yuked, then had rill bad ree-ree and yawns through a lot of the episode. I'm a bit worn out from teaching 7 classes in one day. Eating our weight in pizza slut did not help our tiredness. Totes seepy-seeps ti ti red for ni ni. Pat only grows stronger with every slice of carbo-laden greezy pizza and cinna-styx and is all fired up.
We start things off with a Don Twine remix of Hot Mashed Potatos. Freakin' hilar! But seriously is that jazz keyboarding riff from the prog-rock band Yes?
Gieger saves our shit sammy and sticks it to us hard with an ANTM update. It really tickles me because he's at once so angry and so bored. He, like always, makes that train wreck of a show hilarious. Thank goodness for little girls, and Gieger.
Prezzies! from our UPS store! Someone sent Scott some rice paper for his greezy daygo face, it immediately turns transparent because he is a dirty godless guappo. Prism Guard Panty-Shield tee had me at hello, but I'm a faggot so I'm not allowed to fight the "war" on "terror" that is in no way about oil. Dogs do not like Greenies treats, but that's just because Dahlia is an ungrateful whore-dog with a fupa and dirty vajeen. Pat stepped in Dahlia feces earlier and she kept sniffing his heal which totally grossed him out. Dahlia sure does love poop! Someone sent me a whole fucking box of hand warmers! I love it when you guys take care of me. My hands and heart are warmed. :) Sharon from Tampon sent us a litteral shitload of pixie sticks that will eventually lead to losing my little toe. They are the giant ones in the plastic tubes. Good thing someone sent us that One Touch. Ooh, I'll totally measure my blood sugar before and after pixie stick in an upcoming episode. Wouldn't that be hilar if I was diagnosed with type 2 diahbeetus live on the show?!

Music from PNS fave Fourfour. Spanks Rich.

PNSexplosion - Episode 157