PNS355

PNS355

Pat Learns the Origins of "Tenderoni"

PNS354

PNS353

PNS353

PNS352

PNS 352 show notes -- A touching mother and daughter moment as Cher and Chazzy talk about her transition from big fat lesbo to smokin' hot man and flick through the cock catalogue together. So sweet! What will become of Chazzy’s enormous tits? Cher has some crafty ideas. But first, some breaking news from the PNSexplosion dot-matrix fax machine: Princess Diana is dead. Patrick Swayze: still alive. Pamela Anderson: 42, puffy and yellow. Farrah, Michael Jesus Juice, Ed McMahon, and Karl Malden: dead, dead, dead, and dead. Catherine Zeta Jones: delicious. So, Chazzy’s losing weight before having a roll of Bisquick Three-Cheese biscuit dough attached. From Fred Flintstone to Fred Savage courtesy of Edward Scissorhands. On rollerskates. Or something. Is it just about plumbing or is there more to it? Does it cost more to get a six-pack put in? Goddammit, I wish Sonny was here, the sonofabitch. Noah wants to do away with the plumbing and celebrate the intergender. Pat has a view, too. What do you think, listeners? It was all about Pride in the Chicago, a womanly celebration of gayzness and intergenderness and biness. Are even they things? After four martinis, it was fab-u-lous. There may have been some listeners, and the Pride moms were there again. Next year: PNS on Segways. Rob ended up in a cab with some random who made Chazzy look girly and had trouble at Hamburger Mary’s when he started booing her. Ladies and gentlemen: Liza Minnelli. She has many, thrilling, complex emotions about Michael’s death. Sadness, madness, badness, giggles. She knows all about pills and death. And cabaret! Cher got to talk about her sequined socks. And Celine, well, she’s just delusional. Is that Carol Channing? Is it hot in here or what? Definitely crazy. Time for “Beat It” delivered in the way that only the PNSexplosion can. Loud and dirtyPNS352

PNS351 Liza, two Chers and a Boniva shake

Show notes by Queen Elizabeth II -- Good evening. I am enjoying some down time by playing bingo. For those times when you can’t wait for a hangover, drink Penguin wine. One sip changes everything! And, yes – it does mess with your bloods. Rob’s working on a torch song for his next cabaret show that will mess with your mind. Happy birthday, Judy Garland! Ladies and gentlemen: Liza Minnelli. And Cher, dishing out the Premorin and the Boniva. So many memories. Well, what’s left of them. Gaw, did you see Lorna Luft’s gold lamé gunt in Grease 2?You can email Cher at wrought-iron-crosses848@aol.com, but she’s only gonna read it if someone can help her press the buttons. She’s busy in her sensory depravation tank. You have to see “The Incredible Shrinking Woman”! Lily Tomlin flips bacon and yells at Concepcion in the garbage disposal. It wasn’t Austin Scarlett taking a dump at Sidetracks. It was another Austin. Aren’t you relieved? He was. A listener calls to say the words, “Mel Gibson.” Sugar tits! Noah says he doesn’t care but still comes up with an opinion. Hurrah! Penguin Wine will get those dingleberries off your ass in seconds. Pat shares his ass-wiping secrets. Another caller accidentally played the show with the VAG wiping stick and that lovely “Don’t Stop Queefing” song in front of a patient. Awkward! What was your most awkward moment? Martha Stewart is awkward, makes her guests feel awkward and still her audience loves it. Or they’re too scared to admit they don’t. Summer’s here and that means one thing: boyfriends. I’d like Christopher Meloni to be my boyfriend. Some great 80s movies: “Just One of the Guys,” “Last American Virgin” and “My Tutor.” Netflix ‘em, kids. Cher gets a little cranky because she needs a Premorin shake and a different wig. A lovely song about pissing your pants to finish up. Call the comment line 206-888-GAYZ real soon, won’t you? Legs eleven!
PNS351