Tuesday, June 09, 2009

PNS348 Lisa Rinna's downstair lips

PNS 348 -- Hey, y’all! My gorgeous hubby borrowed the forklift from work and unwedged me out of our trailer for the day. I’m so fucking happy! Praise Jesus. Noah’s trailer – I mean, apartment, doesn’t smell like grandma’s gyne. He’s making eggplant dip. Fancy! He’ll need a ton of mayo and some Cheetos with that. Does AZT make your hair fall out like chemo? Or just Tom Hanks’ in Phila. Delphia. Maybe it was the stress of having that Speedy Paella Gonzales boyfriend. Check out the superstar powerhouse of talent on “I’m A Celebrity, Get Outta My Groin”: Lou Diamond Phillips, Frangela, Torrie Wilson, John Salley, Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Stephen Baldwin, Janice Dickinson and Sanjaya. Oh – and Patti Blagojevich. Never let Janice off the island. Please. Watch Pat’s video at IML and Pat and Rob’s new trailer trashing videos on the PNSexplosion site on YouTube. They’re real funny. Noah saw people having full-blown anal at IML. Was it Rob? Was it Eric? Hmmm? While those guys were having 4-D sex, Pat was getting some 3-D porn from Emerson. Praise the lord! Melissa Joan Hart is one hoagy away from being the PNS’ biggest listener. The crazy lady in the street just yells ’80s movie titles but they all sound like “Fletch.” Google Dr Ruth. She’s an a-borscht-ionist. I kill myself. There’s a fine line between men with beer guts in chaps and your average Renaissance fairgoer. A little B&D, a little D&D. Get some poop bags for your next puppy play session. Kerb your boyfriend! Here come the stars of this week’s Irrelevant Pop Culture Moments™: Nia Vardalos’ dog, Kevin Bacon, Chace Crawford, Jerry Ferrara, Breckin Meyer, McG, Bill Murray, Bernie Mac, Zac Ephron, Lisa Rinna’s lips (upstairs and down) and Oprah. Update: Farrah Fawcett is still alive. What would be a good new passion for Oprah? Someone dropped Patrick an email about ending a 10-year relationship. Really? After 10 years you thought the PNSexplosion would be your best bet for advice? Just drop $6,000 into the PayPal account for the real answer. Yeah, dump him. Time to go. Noah has to make some more DVDs because he’s a single mom with not a lot of time. And do his hair. There are 78 new posts on Boomtacular. Go look at ‘em, y’all! Praise Jesus.
PNS348

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

PNS331 Mandouche vs Ladydouche.


PNS331 show notes by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II -- A gay man in a musical? Whatever next? While Rob’s on assignment, Marc and Emily are back for round two. Here’s how to use “sharmoot” in a sentence: “Ikhlassy akhrasi ya sharmoot wa iftahy khashmik.”* Time to get down to business: lady business. Emily fields more questions about gyne, like what the hell is going on down there and how does it work? They smell like Depends, taste like Chicken In A Biskit and you can use them for off-street parking. Handy! Patrick says he once fingered a gyne in his Dodge Omni, although he was probably looking for loose change in the seats and got carried away. The tables turn when Emily and Marc ask about man-douching. Water in, precious stones out. No vinegar, no basil. What-what? 10 quick questions for Emily from virgins, 13-year-olds and clueless boys. I think we all learned something. Urethra Franklin might want a little respect, but not in that demented hat. Who sent in “The Book of Bunny Suicides”? Own up! Ashley Simpson has shruggy shoulders and the Joffrey Dancers have supertight boxes. A lovely new tune to infect your brain: “Suddenly I Queefed.” Vanity plates to consider: DIK SKR, FNGR BLST or 2PNK 1STNK. Call 206-888-GAYZ with your burning questions. Liz out.

PNS331

*Translation: “Shut up man-bitch and open your mouth.”

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

PNS250 A Mani For A Pedi

Special thanks to our straight gal Heather for the interview. So awse. Here's a youtubes clip of her work:



And click here and buy some shoe pron: http://clips4sale.com/studio/11013.

Our buzz by:



Drink what we do! Be a cool kid. 773.975.WINE Order the Verdicchio. Do it by I.V.

PNS250

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