Saturday, April 25, 2009

PNS340 Your Cup Runneth Ovary Part Duece

PNS340 show notes by your lovely new nanny, Mary Poppins -- Hello, children. Our first game is called “Half-Begun is Well Done.” Let’s sing together, shall we? “Just a butt-full of dildos ...” Hurrah! That was delightful. If you have ordered the DVD, it’s on its way. Noah is calling all the chimney sweeps to help out. They’re orphans, so they can use the money. Chim chim chiree! Even though Rob is a stay-at-home mom, he draws the line at the fourth hour of “Today” and “The View.” He uses the time to open his wine. Don't slouch! It’s time to play a marvelous game called “What’s The Celebrity Memoir Called?” Come along, give me your hand, please. Marlee Matlin went to rehab? Goodness! MacGyver could have got her out of there with a Sudafed and a paper clip, I’m sure. The boys plan a lovely outing to the cinema to see Miss Beyoncé’s glossy new flick and its many thrilling catfights. Young Jennifer Hudson looks quite poorly, don’t you agree? Perhaps she has a liver complaint. Listeners telephone in their delightful questions. Let’s listen. No fidgeting, please! Traveling with a douche that has metal parts can be risky when going through airports. Do what I do: travel on clouds and umbrellas and there will be no slack-jawed fatty boombahs going through your luggage. I keep a hatstand in mine, so I know a thing or two about smuggling. Tricky, aren’t I? A question for the lovely lesbian ladies is next. How do they practice safe sex? Even though they’ve been terribly busy making their softball uniforms, the VAG girls find the time to pop in to explain. Trust me, with a 48-inch waist, you’d be awfully lucky to find anything to hit down there. Close your mouth, please. We are not a codfish. Someone calls who hasn’t showered for four days. Heavens! I play in chimneys with children, so I have to wash constantly. Especially around, you know, my magical fantasy play area. Bert outlines it chalk and everyone just jumps in. Tra-la-la! Patrick saw a play that involved vomit and ripping up flowers. That will be quite enough of that, thank you. Before we say goodbye and I float away, let’s all sing a ditty about everyone’s favorite vaginal infection, even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. Yes, it’s chlamydia. Oh, children, what fun we’ve had. Toodle-pip!
PNS340

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Rose's Gyne said...

RIP, Bea.

We hardly knew ya,

7:33 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

"I'd blow Bea Arthurs dick"
-Patrick Powers

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Patrick said...

I would blow her dick. Even dead. Kisses to heaven, Bea.

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was honestly in tears from laughing at this show. kisses you funny boys.

1:25 AM  
Anonymous pep said...

Rob's "I'm really perky n' shit!" made me spray-fart out my mouth. Well played...

2:43 PM  
Blogger licoricepirate said...

Especially around, you know, my magical fantasy play area. Bert outlines it chalk and everyone just jumps in. lmaoaoaooa

8:20 AM  

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