PNS347

PNS 347 -- Hi - I’m Wilma, the cranky neighbor from the Magic Bullet infomercial. Geiger’s on the line, filled with the excitement that is another funzies show. So, what’s going on? Farrah’s still alive. There’s that. The Floor Mic™ is on and ready to record the v-v-v-vibrations of every spray shart. Are you Sunkist or Tang? Ooh – what I wouldn’t give for some juicy poontang right now. Cher’s downtown might be getting puffy. She needs a little extra fabric to cover it up these days. Someone poke Lady Gaga’s front butt, puh-lease. Pat’s summer jam is the recently discovered Beyoncé’s “Freakum Dress”, so watch out for a PNS video of that any day now. Axe the Gaywads: what age and nationality would your houseboy be? For some reason, the VAG girls pick up this question. They want housefraus who weigh 350. You know, skinny minnies. Aged between 40 and 80 who want to cuddle up and watch "Cold Case" just before bed at 8.30. Another question, this time from a straight guy: what kinda stuff do you do over the internet? Porn, obviously, and this. Pat needs a break from Facebook. All those damn lists of “5 things.” E-nuff, already. Update: Farrah, still not dead. Anyway, if your gonna do Facebook, pay attention so it’s easier for Pat to stalk you. In a caring way, of course. Memorial Day is the kick-off the gay high holidays. Noah’s birthday is the end of them, because the next day is always -10° with sideways rain. Pat’s off to IML (Update: he went and you can see the video of his adventures over on Boomtacular). Mmm, street food: corn dogs (prrrrrrp), deep-fried anything (double prrrrrrp). So, no one thinks they needed that third round of Jager shots at Sidetrack. Trust me: you never do. Question time: is Patti from “Millionaire Matchmaker” really a girl? The jury is still out on that one. Would you date a guy who wasn’t out? If they were rich and hot, yeah, sure. Otherwise, nuh. What’s your ultimate closety match? When you can’t reach your vag, wipe with the VagStik™ from the VAG Explosion, Miramax and Mennen. Pop it out of your purse and onto your puss. What’s the difference between a salad shooter and a salad spinner? Ask me. I’ll know, for sure. I’m gonna dance cussy’s on fire! This just in: Farrah’s still alive. Missy Eliott will be starring in “Ghost P--oossiiee,” the Aaliyah story. Big finish with that Journey song from “Glee.” Don’t stop your queefing. Did someone say muffins?
PNS347